Relationship Management Programme by Homi Mulla

This post is dedicated to "Calcutta Mail"

Last week I had the privilege of attending the Relationship Management Programme conducted by Mr. Homi Mulla in Hotel Fariyas, Lonavla. It is a six day long experiential learning programme which takes you through the various leadership styles. This program also helps you understand your own sets of assumptions and beliefs. The way you have seen the world till now and how you can change that. You also get to understand what effective teams are made of.

I have summarised a few things which are top of mind recall:

1. Perception is reality. You are not what you are but how others see you.

2. Assumptions guide behavior. To change behaviour, we need to change assumptions.

3. Effective teams start with goals and objectives. They then mutually do direction setting. They engage in pre, post and concurrent critique.

4. Critique is issue based, criticism is people based. Critique is like mental excretion. If you do not get it out of your system, it can become toxic.

5. Every team should at the start identify and trust its resource.

6. R1 + R2 = R3.

Where R1 = Resources, R2 = Relationships and R3 = Results. Under most cases, R1 is the same. All teams have the same set of resources, still their output varies. This is because of relationships. As Homi says, "R2 directly impact our bottomline, yet we hardly invest time in developing it."

7. All of us get into our comfot zones in life, in job. This stunts our growth. We stop learning.

8. When you are in team, not only should you welcome views divergent from yours; you should also solicit it.

9. Stakes govern behaviour. Real behaviour comes out in 'low stake situations'. Behaviour changes if the stakes are changed. Eg. If the teacher charges a fine of Rs.100 for late arrival, the instances of coming late will almost become zero.

10. Trust = (Credibility x Intimacy) / Risk

This is a relationship and not a mathematical equation. As C and I increase, R decreases.

11. One needs to listen with empathy. This involves:

Mirroring -> Re-stating -> Re-phrasing

12. We should for our own development, seek and give critique regularly.

13. One should be vary of self - deception. It is the biggest hurdle in changing one's behaviour.

14. Watch the movie "12 angry men" atleast 2 times.

15. -ve Critique -> Disturbance -> Reflection -> Realisation -> Insight -> Behaviour Change

16. Whenver you are faced with a situation ask "Whose problem is that?".

If its your problem, then only you have the solution.

17. Trust begets trust.

18. Talking with others will solve most of your problems. Open communication is the key.

19. Give support to get support. Dont be a 'crab'.

20. Begin with the end in mind

21. Read 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen Covey

If you ever get a chance to attend the 'Relationship Management Programme' do not miss it at any cost. (Homi's website - Click Here)